2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
