U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize