you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
