I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
