The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this boner is exhausting
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
