SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
