when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
