I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Randomize
