Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
