Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
