they need to just BURY HIM!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
