Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
