when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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