I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
