Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
