what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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