I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
