butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
