wanna go halves on a baby?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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