I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
