Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How does it feel to date your dad?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize