There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
