It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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