She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
