You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
