Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
porn star boner night. come get it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
