dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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