I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
