Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Tornado booty call.. dedication
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
