Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
