were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
