THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
