It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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