will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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