could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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