Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
