trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
