That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize