I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
