I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
