Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize