Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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