Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
