You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
