It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
