So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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