Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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