Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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