Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
