Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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