she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
