i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize