So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
