So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This is classic penis vs brain.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize