i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize