I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
