I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
