To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
