no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
babies were throwing up all over the place
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
