It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize