God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
