i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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