Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
