Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And then my night got REAL pukey
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
