no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
