I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
