I need to stop coming to work sober
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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