She's JV to your varsity
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
